In This Season: Sex Positivity
By: Reenita V
Have you heard? Sex positivity is so in right now and it’s a trend that is going to stick around. But what is? What does it go with? How do you wear it? Well, everything you need to know to start learning about sex positivity can be found here.
First, what is sex positivity? Sex positivity is having an empowering, positive outlook on sex, consensual sex. Sex positivity does not mean that you are down to do everything sex related but that you have the ability to create a space and have anti-oppressive outlook on your personal choices as well as how others may choose to engage. You yourself don’t even have to be sexually active to be sex positive. What you need is an understanding that sex has a broad definition, stigma, assumption, and enjoyable aspects but knowing that people can have a healthy (a)sexual life is how you can be an active sex positive person.
Does being a sex positive person mean you have to be sexually active? No. You do not have to be having sex (of any variation) to be an ally to those that are engaging or not. Does sex positivity mean wild sex fest? No, maybe. Again, people maybe engaging in “wild” engagements with one or multiple people but being sex positive means that judgement is removed and as long as everything is consensual – then YAY! Someone has identified as asexual, but claims to be sex positive – what? Sex positivity means that there is space for your identity and theirs. As you can see, there are various aspects of a healthy sexual relation and sex positivity means respecting that.
Education is a huge part of being sex positive. The fantastic part of learning is that it can happen everywhere you go. You can start with having casual conversations with friends and family and identify where you might hold judgement or internalized anti-sex positive ideas and beliefs. By being able to have conversations or even just an open mind about sex or sex positivity gets the sexy ball rolling. Another great place is accessing community organizations that are sex positive. Organizations such as The Alliance for South Asian AIDS Prevention offers education and prevention information and this specific organization offer support and information focused on those who identify as South Asian. There is a multitude of organizations land base or online which can help create a great understanding of what healthy, consensual sex looks like.
Consent is of course the most important part of sex positivity. Consenting to anything remotely sexy – physical, verbal, online is absolutely 100% important. Consent is an ongoing agreement between 2 or more people giving the thumbs up to whatever activity, conversation, exchange, that is taking place or will take place. There must always be an agreement as this is what it means to have a healthy, sexy, fun time.
Sex positivity is fun, and cool. It creates a whole new understanding of what a healthy sexual exchange is, it creates an opportunity to learn and also it can help navigate tricky conversations with a partner(s). As well, it allows for an empowered outlook on the fun world of sex.