By: Reya D We’re about four months in 2015, so now is a pretty good time to check in with that New Year’s Resolution. I always set a similar resolution for myself every year, I say to myself in the mirror: “This year you will loose […]
Month: March 2015
By: Reenita V
This month I attended a workshop put on by Laci Green, an American sex education activist. The workshop was called ‘Best Sex Ever’ and as you can imagine, it was a discussion about how to have the best sex ever. The discussion was hosted by The University of Toronto and while the discussion was open to the public the majority of people in attendance were young university students.
The talk opened with an introduction to the speaker and a warning that some images and topics may make people squirmy. Once the warning was done, the first image popped onto the screen and it was a close range shot of a female genitalia. I know what you might be thinking, this can’t be real! No lie. Projected onto a huge screen was a stranger’s vulva for all to see. Now, there were a few giggles of embarrassment from the crowd. I too felt a little odd that I was sitting in a room full of strangers staring at someone’s vulva. One thing really impressed me about this image was that the vulva belonged to a person of colour. This is normally not the case so I was excited to see what else Green had to say about the best sex ever.
As the talk went on, we were directed on the in’s and out’s of sex, what can make it good, fun, pleasurable and most importantly, how can we practice safe sex. The last topic of discussion however, was definitely the most important and this is a topic that is not always discussed – consent. My personal opinion, and hopefully an opinion I share with you is that consent is by far the most important ingredient to sex.
No matter your marital status, age, race, gender, you have the right to say no. If you do not want it
to happen to your body, you say no. That’s it. It is one thing to think about consent, it is another to take action. Some may find that having sex with a partner is an obligatory action, but it is not. Sex should be fun, pleasurable and consensual. You should want it as much as the other person wants it.
In the workshop we discussed what consent sounds like. Consent is not simply just based on either ‘yes’ or ‘no’ it can sound like:
“I’m not sure if I want to do this…”
“That doesn’t feel good…”
“I don’t know…”
Think of when you are in a situation, any situation where you do not want to do something. What does no sound like to you?